Breakup
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 102 views | 0 comments
My fiance broke up with me, and I haven't told my friends, becuase he said that if in a couple years we both get our lives in order and I can be everything that he wants and needs that he'll marry me. And I don't want to give up. So I think I'm going to pray a lot and try to let God get me through this so that it will all work out. I'm afraid I'm deluding myself, that since I won't be able to see him I'll go crazy. But I want to be a strong woman that he will love again. If I won his heart once, I can do it again right? But for now I have to learn my lesson and cool my heels. I never told my parents because I thought they'd disinherit me and now I regret it so much. I'm afraid I'll turn into a stalker and swing y his house once a month or so, just to watch. I feel so crazy. I can't stop wearing my ring, and I' m praying he won't stop wearing his even though I know he will. And that hurts! And I won't hear him sing to me or talk on the phone every night. And I won't get to be more than the most distant friend. He broke my hymen, I always thought I would get to be a virgin when I got married, and even though we never had sex, now the proof is gone. I won't feel his arms around me all through the night. I always kept him from smoking, because he said I was his reason to live, and now he's starting again, because he wants to kill himself. Oh, I want to call him. I love him, I love him, I love him. He tells me to move on, but I'm going to get stronger and wait. No matter what anyone says.
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