I used to black out with rage. My father had it, my grandfather too, and apparently all the way back. I never lost it for stupid reasons. When I was a kid and a teenager, it would take months of constant bullying for me to lose it. I wasn't very confident, even though I was pretty big and people in my family are freakishly strong, for some reason, but walking around not looking at anyone in the eye was like holding up a target. I would obsess about embarrasing incidents inflicted on me and hang on to stress, fear, anger, humiliation, etc until I literally lost all control. One time, I remember standing up in the middle of class and starting to walk towards some asshole who'd been bullying me for most of the year. Then there was a kind of fading senstation, black spots and... nothing. I kind of woke up and looked down at a bloody mess. I don't remember doing it, but I put that kid in the hospital. I broke his jaw in multiple places, along with his collarbone and clavicle, and his front teeth sort of cracked off (one of them was lodged in my knuckle, which hurt like a bitch). Other people in the class told me I just woudn't stop hitting him, and when he went down, I just followed him down and kept on going. He was completely out when I came to. No one tried to intervene while I was doing it. No one tried to stop me when I walked out of the class room. I ended up in a court battle over that one, but since there was a lot of witnesses who testified this guy was always taking shots at me, no charges stuck. Afterwards, no one wanted to hang around me, and I was sort of stuck as the psycho loner, which I suppose I was. At least no one picked on me after that, but I am not proud of it. I don't think it's good to be capable of being totally out of control like that. I could end up killing someone or getting killed. I don't lose it very often, but sometimes I wonder what the fuck is the matter with me, or that I should be under observation or something.