Now, I think I should preface this by explaining that I am demisexual-- I do not foster sexual attractions to people without first having a deep bond with them. Last summer I met someone. He was a kindred spirit, quickly became a fantastic friend, and there was an underlying tension between the two of us with ease. He was engaged, and I was twenty hours away from my partner. Nothing happened between us. Fast forward to the end of the summer, where I introduce him to my best friend at an event. His fiancee has broken things off with him and kicked him out of his house. He and I were flirting constantly, me still in a relationship. My friend liked him. Fast forward to Thanksgiving week 2014, where I make plans to get together with my kindred spirit the night before the holiday. I have been single now for three months. The night before our meeting, he drives to visit my friend. They share a movie and a tender kiss. My best friend really likes him. Fast forward to the night before Thanksgiving. Dinner, visiting a beach in a Nor'easter, NERF gun battles, talking, laughing, Luck Number Sleven. "Can I kiss you?" /you should say no/ "Are you okay with this?" /you shouldn't be/ Fast forward to his apartment losing power, and us losing our clothes along with it. We didn't fuck, but it was intimate. I didn't tell my best friend I had screwed around with her crush. Two days later, I drop best friend off at home, and drive up to go to a LARP park, where my kindred spirit will also be. We had Denny's with others from the park. And laughed at how similar we are. He had work in a few hours, and it would my last time with him for some time. At his place, we talked. And laughed. And drank water and apple cider. He offered a back rub. My back was never rubbed, but her certainly rubbed me the right way. My clothes slipped off of me faster than I could get to his. His head between my legs in a way that made me shutter. His kisses were soft, though his actions forward. I told him that. He tucked a hair behind my ear, telling me "I can be gentle..." Before I know it, I'm in his arms, pinned against the wall, shocked, but pleasantly so. He threw me around with such ease, held me in ways that made me unable to move from his grasp and I lost myself in it. He went to work. I went home-- or rather, I went to my best friend's house. And she told me that she spoke to my kindred spirit. That he flattered her and she really liked him. And I just had to look her in the eye, living with the guilt that I had knowingly fooled around with him behind her back. We did not fuck, my kindred spirit and I, but we connected in a deep way. There isn't romantic love between us, but a much deeper friendship than we could have imagined. I don't regret it. But I wish I did.