A typical day in my life
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 145 views | 0 comments
Frivolist: Reasons Why I'm A Pathetic Loser Eating a Gardenburger on the Fourth of July, cooked in a toaster oven, and then spending the subsequent day wallowing in a fog of my own soy-based fireworks. Mistaking the smile of a young woman to mean she finds me attractive, as opposed to it being a stifled giggle at my old age and inappropriately tight, stone-washed jeans. Frequently daydreaming about sharing my humble, profound and hilarious insights with Jay Leno on the Tonight Show after my unprecedented success as a (fill in the blank). Feeling guilty for having squandered my natural potential with the air guitar. Being completely obsessed with the relatively minor bare spot on my tree lawn and having spent an embarrassing amount of time attempting to grow grass there. Secretly hoping that parachute pants make a comeback so I can finally tell everyone, 'I told you so!' Spending time on my day off thinking of reasons why I'm a pathetic loser and having no trouble coming up with them. Fuck me.
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