okay, this confession is going to be more thorough and mature. If you've read the confession titled: passionate sex with my friend's girlfriend, then i'll tell you that i am that girl he mentioned. and i want to tell my side of the story. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years, the longest relationship I've ever been in and I was happy as hell, for awhile. He introduced me to his friend, whom i'll call John Doe, about a year ago. The moment I saw him, my jaw figuratively dropped on the floor and I was swooning. I thought to myself "holy crap, he is cute as hell" and I secretly flirted with him, but I didn't make myself too obvious because I didn't think he'd ever like me in any other way besides friends. The next time I saw him, was at a Halloween party my boyfriend and all his friends went to. My boyfriend ended up getting shitfaced and passing out in his friends room. And the whole night, John Doe stayed by my side, kept my company and talked with me. The whole night. That's when I knew he was the sweetest guy I've ever met. I started getting a bigger crush on him after that, but it wasn't too huge. Him and I never really talked too much after that party, but I didn't really care much. Fast forward a few months to my boyfriend and I sitting on the couch watching a movie. John Doe ended up texting him saying something like "so what about that threesome with your gf?" and my boyfriend said they were talking about it, but they didn't know who they would do it with. I wasn't sure if they were serious, so I just shrugged my shoulders, smiling and said "I don't know" I was actually blushing and getting really riled up since he wanted to do that with me, I mean I did think he was very attractive and I thought he'd never like me in that way. I wanted to say yes, but I didn't want my boyfriend getting too jealous, or even worse, me falling for John Doe since I have a tendency of wearing my heart upon my sleeve and being impulsive. After that night, a week or so passed and the question kept coming up. I still wasn't sure, so I just told them i'd have to think about it. I was at the theater watching "This Is The End" when John Doe sent me a DM on Twitter. I was surprised, so I replied to him and we talked for awhile over twitter. Then he worked his way up to asking me for my number, and it worked. We text each other for awhile and after a few days of heavy conversation, I ended up telling him that I liked him and how my boyfriend and I weren't getting along so well. Him and I fought more then any couple should fight and it felt like he was just using me for sex. So John Doe and I ended up hanging out at my apartment and it was nerve racking. Him and I were both awkward and nervous, but we ended up warming up to each other. We were watching something on Netflix and cuddling, he held me and I felt so comfortable and safe. Mind you, my boyfriend and I sit on opposite ends of the couch and we never cuddle. We were watching that show, when he touched my cheek and turned my face toward his and he kissed me. That kiss sent shivers down my spine, it was glorious. That night, we made extremely passionate love. And my goodness, it was the best either of us has ever had. when my boyfriend and I have sex, he turns me in doggy, fucks me hard and that's it. no passion what so ever. but when John Doe and I did it, we were close and it was amazing. it lasted for quite awhile, too. I didnt want it to end, but I kept getting a sick feeling in my tummy. I've never cheated on my boyfriend and I felt so guilty. After sometime, he ended up needing to go home before my boyfriend got back. I walked him halfway there, and when I was walking back, I just collasped. I fell to the floor and sobbed. I shook so hard and I felt so horrible. I got back home and couldnt even look at my boyfriend. After that night, I felt like John Doe didnt want to see me again and I thought he was going tell my boyfriend everything. But John ended up texting me and telling me he wanted to see me agian. it made me feel so good, like all the weight that has ever been on my shoulders, was just lifted off of me. We had sex a few more times and got really close to each other. I started falling really hard for him, and now I'm in love with him and I still dont know what to do. If I break up with my boyfriend, I'll be left with no where to go and some people will probably hate me and if i try to get with John Doe, I have this feeling that he wouldnt want to be with me like that and it wouldnt work out. So I'm stuck.